THIS MUST BE THE NEXUS OF THE UNIVERSE!

If you are a Seinfeld fan like me, you may remember the episode when Kramer goes for a test drive with a care salesman and the car is running low on gas. It’s dark out and they don’t even know where they’re going, but Kramer decides to test the limits of the little bit a fuel left in the car to see just how far they can go. He’s such a great character, because he could care less what others think and is constantly testing people’s limits. I love that about him. Last evening at a networking event I regularly attend, while meeting someone for the first time, I decided to test my limits and go to the NEXUS OF THE UNIVERSE.

John (that’s not his real name, but if I told you his real name I’d have to…well, you know) approached me and we began to chat. I started by asking him questions. What he does for a living, what he liked about what his does, what he doesn’t like about it, how long he has been doing it, and what he did before. John was really friendly and a great talker. I was smiling and taking it all in and GENUINELY INTERESTED in what he was saying to me. But. it was somewhere about this time when I began to think back to that Seinfeld episode and started to wonder how much further I could take this. So when he began to ask me what I did, I shot back again with more questions. where do you live, where are you originally from, where did you go to school, how many children do you have, what do they do, where do they go to school? All the while, he continued until my adrenaline began to really get going and I started to feel the rush of taking this as far as I possibly could…maybe even further than anyone has ever taken it before! John was interesting and a really nice guy. I was enjoying hearing about his life and his family and his business.

I kept asking questions until I got to the point where I didn’t care if he ever asked me anything at all. In fact that became my goal. I wanted to connect well enough that he wouldn’t feel the need to ever ask me one question. So I continued…

What made you sell your restaurant? You must have some interesting stories to tell about your experience. How many years did you own it? Are you glad you sold it? How has your life changed? How has that served you in what you do now? I continued on until I realized I had made it. “John” didn’t even know he hadn’t asked me any questions. The fact is, he didn’t need to. In 30 minutes, I showed so much interest in him that he felt he knew me, liked me, and trusted me.

I DIDN’T try to sell him anything and he doesn’t even know what I do. That may seem counter intuitive to most, but I made a friend. Most people would prefer to do business with their friends! Of course,  John and I may never do business with each other, but I will follow up with him and we will get to know each other better when we meet again. He sees me as friend and someone who has a genuine interest in him. Do you think it would be likely that he would give me referrals from his network? Or perhaps want to help me solve a business problem I have? You bet he would! And I would do the same for him.

I could have looked at him as one person – one sale. That would be short sighted and self-serving thinking. If you want your business to survive, and if you want any type of longevity at all, you need to have vision. John’s network has more value to me than just one sale. It represents potentially thousands of sales. What if you put aside the immediate gratification of one sale, or one new client, and instead build some rapport and made a friend?

I challenge to you do the same when you go to your next networking event. See how far you can push the envelope and connect with someone on a deeper level. Have a genuine interest in them and what they do. Genuine interest in another person will manifest itself with an abundance of questions. Don’t net-sell, network!

Bearj Jehanian is a Maximum Potential Speaker and Trainer.  Through a combination of inspiration and online tools, Bearj inspires his audiences to build a foundation of belief, to support a decision to act on any idea and bring it to completion. Believe, Decide, Act.  You can find out more about Bearj here.