I DEFINITELY DIDN’T PLAN THIS!

[two_third last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”4px” border_color=”#016ba8″ border_style=”solid” padding=”8px” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]A long time ago,  a good and trusted friend of mine told me I was a real “shoot first and ask questions later” kind of person. Wow! That wasn’t a shot, it was a dagger in the neck. I didn’t like that M/O, BUT he was right! What was worse was the label that went a long with that. I was a reactionary person. I wanted to be thought of as an intelligent caring person. I had struck out!

I remember the day perfectly. I was only 27 or 28 years old, so I was still pretty much a kid, relative to my current age. We were standing in the driveway outside my friend’s home, having a conversation about work, when I noticed a dent in the side panel of my car and suddenly my focus changed immediately to me. I became instantly furious that someone had dented the side of MY CAR! Who would do this? How could they be so careless? How would they feel if someone did that to their car? Don’t they care about another person’s property? I went on a long drawn out diatribe of accusations against the mysterious person who did this to MY CAR!

I had no patience for taking in the landscape of what was happening around me. I think to a certain extent we all behave this way from time to time. Life around us suddenly accelerates and we have a hard time keeping up, so we react instead of interact. (Wow, that last sentence just came to me, pretty good, huh?)

As my tirade continued, a memory popped into my head and just like that I was transported back in time to the moment when the dent occurred. IT WAS ME! I had accidentally dented my own car, by accident several weeks prior. Wow, did I ever feel stupid. There I was, mid-tantrum, suddenly realizing the person I was so upset wasn’t someone else. It wasn’t some random person who accidentally or purposefully bumped my car. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault, but my own! I was so caught up in the moment and in myself, that I couldn’t think clearly enough to take in what had really caused the dent. I jumped to an immediate conclusion. I shot first and wasn’t even concerned with asking questions.

I believe, when we are confronted with stressful situations, events, or news, we have better results when we interact with a situation before we react to it. That is, to assess the situation and use our intelligence, BEFORE we react emotionally. You have all heard that when emotions are high, intelligence is low. So what should we do when we are faced with an unexpected event, situation, or occurrence?

1. Take a breath. This will keep you from “pulling the trigger” to quickly and give you that much needed moment or two to let your emotions settle and clear your head.
2. Take in the landscape of a situation. This is a time to think smart and not with your heart. (interact, don’t react)
3. Make a decision based on the “right thing” to do. What is the intelligent thing to do?

Often when we make a decision based on emotion, we unwittingly give ourselves more work and more decisions, because we have touched a nerve with someone else. In fairness, if you are an emotional person like me, it’s not always easier to settle and calm yourself. But here is an extra tip. (this was an admittedly difficult pill for me to swallow) Get your big fat ego out of the way! There, I said it. More on that in a future post…[/fusion_text][/two_third][one_third last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”#eaebed” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”4px” border_color=”#016ba8″ border_style=”solid” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text][/fusion_text][/one_third][two_third last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][tagline_box backgroundcolor=”#c5d4e2″ shadow=”yes” shadowopacity=”0.7″ border=”1px” bordercolor=”” highlightposition=”top” content_alignment=”left” link=”https://breakdownthewall.com/” linktarget=”_blank” modal=”” button_size=”” button_shape=”” button_type=”3D” buttoncolor=”blue” button=”Break Down The Wall” title=”” description=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””]Bearj Jehanian is a Maximum Potential Speaker and Trainer.  Through a combination of inspiration and online tools, Bearj inspires his audiences to build a foundation of belief, to support a decision to act on any idea and bring it to completion. Believe, Decide, Act.  You can find out more about Bearj here.[/tagline_box][/two_third][one_third last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][/one_third]